Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Thinking About Aliyah....

Thought about Aliyah lately?

Oleh Girl thought about it and came last year with her 37 cats.

Westbankmama did it years ago when she heard about the chocolate coins.

Thought about aliyah lately?

I really hope not.

Certain bloggers are thinking about it very seriously, but I have to tell you the truth. It’s not worth it. Israel is really not at all what they tell you in yeshiva, it’s nothing like it says in the tourist guides, and it certainly isn’t what you see when you come here on vacation. The stuff you see on vacation -- the Kotel, the Hurva synagogue, the Arabs -- it’s all a façade, albeit brilliantly put together.
The Chasidim? Nope, not their real beards. The Yemeni Jews? Nope, not their real jacnun. The Arabs? Nope, they’re skinny Sicilians. The Tower of David? Nope, an arts and crafts project made of paper towel rolls. Me? I don’t even exist. I’m just a part of the ploy to get you to come and live here so that a true and lasting peace will never come to the rest of the world.
In fact, I am looking forward to the day when I will finally have enough money to get out of this sand trap and go to the real promised land -- Uganda. The right of return will be granted to all Jews wishing to move on over to Uganda. KLM will be offering free flights to Entebbe.

Thought about aliyah lately? Think again.

Blogged about aliyah lately? Erase it.

Contacted your shaliach? Pull your application.

Israel: it’s just not for you.

Wherever I go, my blog turns towards Eretz Uganda.

3 Comments:

Blogger Yael K said...

LOLOLOL. Wheeeeeeee am Uganda Chai!

12:57 AM  
Blogger the sabra said...

LOL
though i despise that overused 'saying', its the truth! im laughin out loud and gettin weird looks from e/o around me. nu nu, its happened before.
gosh this website is just fantastic.
but yo, one correction-those beards ARE real. i tried yanking one off just now and the screams were sufficient proof...

5:45 AM  
Anonymous bro said...

LOL awesome!!!

hooray for uganda!

8:58 AM  

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